This past week has been pretty hard. Its been one of the roughest weeks in my short twenty-two years on this earth. I have lost a dear friend. My best friend. A person who I could talk to about anything. A person who I wanted to spend time with, care for, Grow with, and Love. But now that's all gone.
I didn't understand, It didn't make since. Why?...Why would the Lord I love do this to me? Why would he cause me so much pain? Why did he tell me that he wanted person in my life and now he taking them away? I asked, no I pleaded with Him, If this is the person you want in my life than put them in my life. If not then don't put them in my life. I cant deal with loosing them. But yet the Lord put them in my life. What? Really? Are you serous?
"And he said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.” (Job 1:21)See something that I didn't think about in all of my pride, anger, and selfishness was Christ. "The Lord gives and takes away; blessed be the name of the LORD" The Lord loves me. The Lord longs for me like a father longs to see his long lost child. Like all fathers they want to provide for there child. He has provided me with Christ, a great family, great friends, great church, house, car...(etc) And as the provider he has the right to give and the right to take. Because there is no one like him. Without him we get nothing. But you see he is always there for me. He is always there to love and support me. But what he wants and expect out of me is to show him the same love and dedication that he shows me.
"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose." (Romans 8:28)
See its hard to understand why God does what he does. But honestly who are we to understand or question God's plan? See God is so good. He is so perfect. He has done everything for a specific reason. That reason is to give honor and glory to himself. And when you understand that; when you realize that from the beginning of time God has had a awesome and specific plan for your life, that will give glory to Him. Well then its hard to not be emboldened by your creator. Its hard not to trust in Him.
"In you, O Lord, do I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame;
2in your righteousness deliver me!
Incline your ear to me;
rescue me speedily!
Be a rock of refuge for me,
a strong fortress to save me!"
(Psalm 31:1-2)
So what to do and what to learn?
Fist, I need to put all of my life back into Christ. Because he is my rock my fortress my king. I need to be in his word more than ever before. I need to be in prayer more than ever before. I need to show him that my relationship with Christ is the most important relationship I can have, or ever will have. I need to trust his plan. I need to put my faith fully in Him. I need to be dedicated to Him.
Second, I need to learn how to love others. I need to learn humility. I believe by growing in Christ and being in his word and seeing Christ in that and through that I should be able to overcome this obstacle in my life. This chart is really helping me out right now. Being a stubborn and hard headed person, who feels so strongly about my convictions and preferences its hard for me to not force my them on other people. Biblical convictions are one thing but personal convictions and preferences are another.I need to observe the Christ I need to be like Christ.
19 Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;20 for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. 21 Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls.22 But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. 23 For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. 24 For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. 25 But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts,he will be blessed in his doing. (James 1:19-25)
Not fully understanding this concept has truly hurt my dearest relationship. This will be hard to put into practice but I am praying with all of my heart that the Lord will put this practice into my life. Only through him can I find my strength. I'm praying that by learning this I can earn back a friendship that I care about so much.
"26 Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. 27 And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because[g] the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 28 And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose."
"31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?" (Romans 8:26-28;31-32)I need to understand that I wasn't ready at this time for what gifts he had given me. Maybe after some time. Maybe when I have matured more in Christ. He will bless me again. Maybe its the same blessing as last time. Maybe all he was saying is Seth not now, you still need to grow first. But give it time, I will give it back to you. Or Maybe its a new blessing something greater than i could have ever dreamed of.
"37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Romans 8:37-39)I hope this is helpful to those of you who read this. I ask that you keep me in your prayers. I ask that you pray intentionally for my relationship with Christ to become my complete focus in life. I ask that you pray for humility for me. Ask God to make me be more Christ like in my thoughts and words. That I can be slow to anger, slow to speak, and quick to hear others. I ask that you pray for me and my friend. That we will both grow from this, grow closer to the Lord. I ask that pray for us to mature in our walk in life and with the Lord.
My friends your prayers mean so much to me. Keep Lord first in all that you do and know that Christ is in control.
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